You look for romance when looking for a mate. It is not a hit or miss operation. The new norm seems to be to live with your soul mate before you marry (cohabitaton). The person you choose to live with must not just be sexy, but must share your values, interests, and your personality.
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TO COHABITATE OR TO MARRY
You look for romance when looking for a mate. It is not a hit or miss operation. The new norm seems to be to live with your soul mate before you marry (cohabitaton). Only 18% of men and 23% of women are married without ever having lived together. Most of these people stay married.
As you get older, the number of your potential marital mates becomes very narrow. Your mating does not begin with romance. After you filter out all your factors, love relationships begin to appear.
The person you choose to live with must not just be sexy, but must share your values, interests, and your personality. Since there is a tendency for likes to marry, you unconsciously will eliminate potential mates that differ from you.
Sometimes you are pushed more rapidly to marriage because you are in love, crave companionship, or have emotional financial securities, status, or social and family pressures.
COHABITATION AND MARRIAGE STATISTICS
One out of five marriages will break up within five years, and two out of three will last less than 10 years. Over 50% of black men and and 75% of Hispanic men stay married.
Twenty years ago over 50% of unmarried women who gave birth, were living with the child’s father. Now only a third of these births have the father in the house.
If you live together before you get married, you are less likely to stay married. Your chances will improve if you are already engaged or are a college graduate, when you begin living together.
THE ANATOMY OF MARRIAGE
After all, your parents taught you how to love and who to love. You are told to find your soul mate from a pool of eligible people that are socially approved. You are told what a nice couple you make, and start being invited to social functions and family affairs.
Most married couples are 2 to 3 years apart in age. Don’t rob the cradle, and don’t look to marry a father or mother figure.
You certainly want someone who has the same values, education and goals that you might want to share. If your soul mate accepts your basic values, and engages in your activities, you will enjoy being together and a marriage is more likely to be permanent.
You only enjoy a relationship if you are getting a lot out of it, especially if you get more than you are investing. If you think you have a lot of good things going for you, you look for someone of comparable value.
Your comments are always appreciated.
Source National Center for health statistics/national survey of family growth/2002
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