JUST HOLD ME HONEY
Some women just want to be held. For a few of them that is their sole aim. To them cuddling or body contact is the reason they sexually entice their mate to fulfill a childlike wish to be held. Everyone knows the fresh excitement obtained from tactile stimulation. There is a certain amount of touching indispensable among everyone before the sexual aim can be attained.
Usually cuddling is a type of forepleasure along the road to genital gratification. For many women it is occasionally an end in itself instead of a means to an end. The desire may be so strong that it resembles an addiction.
Often the man is mislead into thinking an appeal for closeness means a sexual invitation when it is only an appeal for physical contact. Tactile stimulation serves the same purpose sexually for women as visual stimulation does for the man. Of course being held is a natural accompaniment of coitus.
Some women who have an intense desire to be held may have no desire for coitus, even though they enjoy intercourse. Still others want both body contact and sexual intercourse, but one is usually more intense than the other at a particular time. Some just strongly want coitus but have little wish to be held.
Many times the woman fails to directly ask to be held and makes a non-verbal request, by sexual enticement. She may barter coitus for body contact. The woman gives the man sex and he in return gives her cuddling.
“I just want you to hold me. Put your arms around me and let me relax for a minute. “ One thing goes with another. Sexual activity is a price to be paid for being cuddled and held.
Some women are sexually promiscuous because of a need for cuddling. Most men misunderstand the act of holding as an end to sex. A woman could sit for hours and be held, but for the man, it leads to stronger passions, since men are stimulated so much easier. The man assumes that her overture even if subtle, is a request for coitus, since he sees body contact as a prelude to coitus. If she rebuffs his actions, he feels misled.
Some men may feel that a woman who leads a man on and then stops short of coitus is trying to hurt him. He feels cut down since she does not fulfill what he assumes is the bargain. She is not trying to get even with him by leading him on and then hurting him. She only wants the gratifications she gets when she is held.
Freud would explain this cuddling in the following manner: "As a young girl she would turn to dad hoping to get warmth and love that she failed to get from her mother. She looked at the father as a substitute mother.” Now as closeness was sought, the male sex partner was substituting for father. Such childlike thinking makes it impossible for her to get adult sexual fulfillment from her man.
Being held produces a sense of comfort and also security, sexual stimulation, or both. Being held means being loved, and this is very important to a lot of women. Loving words are nice, but they just don’t give the woman any kind of feeling inside. She may need someone to touch and hold her, just like a baby. It may be more important to her than having an orgasm. It gives her something she missed when she was young. By being held after coitus, it makes her fell her feel she is not held just for sex, and she does not feel used.
It is important to understand the difference between the sexual and nonsexual aspects of being held. Being held makes everyone feel, close comforting and secure. Sexual enticement is commonly used to get this cuddling. It is often a forepleasure on the road to genital gratification. To a few however, being held is the major sexual aim. It is childish, but men must be aware and try to understand it.
What do you think? Your comments are always appreciated.
Visit www.drneedles.com for more blogging on controversial medical subjects.
