Thursday, June 24, 2010

SEXUAL PROBLEMS BETWEEN SOUL MATES page1

If you have a sexual problem, it is inevitable that your soul mate will sooner or later also develop one.  As you choose your soul mate, there are twelve big reciprocity sexual issues to consider.


SEXUAL PROBLEMS BETWEEN SOUL MATES

When seeking your sexual soul mate, there are several yin yang sexual problems that can occur.

Do you accept your mate and see sexual performance in a nonjudgmental way so both of you can reach sexual fulfillment?   Can the difference in sexual exposure between one partner who has had no premarital experience in sex and another who has had numerous partners and numerous sexual enjoyments?   Can you be patient and wait for sexual compatibility?

If you have a sexual problem, it is inevitable that your soul mate will sooner or later also develop one.  As you choose your soul mate, there are twelve big reciprocity sexual issues to consider.

1. PREMATURE AND RETROGRADE EJACULATION result in sexually unfulfilled experiences.  Such intercourse can cause your mate to become impotent.  When you hold back your semen, your mate may feel you are denying her your ejaculation.
 RELATED POST: Alcohol & Sex

2.  THE TWO-CAREER FAMILY

In our economic times, most couples are working to make ends meet.  You and your soul mate now have new major roles outside of your family and have equal status within the household as well as outside the home. 
You must adapt to changes in the distribution of power within your marriage. You are proud of your soul mate’s achievement, but become troubled about your mate’s increased assertiveness, independence and power.  Arguments occur about how to spend money, raise your children, and how to share responsibilities at home.

Arguments related to power concerning sex and the control of the sex act add to conflict.  Wives today are sexually assertive and demanding, and seem less accepting of unsatisfactory sex.

Reading Cosmopolitan and Redbook, they think their sex is stale and unexciting.   try to get their husbands to read sex manuals. Not being able to show their hostility at work, they bring these feelings home and display hostility to their husbands.  Husbands find their egos deflated, and fear loss of their marriages and its effect on the family.  Sensing they were never great lovers, they try to force their wives to return to their former nurturing roles.
 RELATED POST:  Is your Marriage Fun?

3. AN UNORGASMIC WOMAN who does not lubricate well and experiences very little excitement during sex, may make you feel you are not competent sexually or are not an exciting lover.
RELATED POST:  Viagra for Women

 4. A CONSERVATIVE MALE who doesn’t discuss sex may be unable to express himself sexually in a free and open manner. This makes you a less responsive and non-orgasmic partner.
 RELATED POST:    Selecting your Mate

5. AN OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE HUSBAND who as a child has been conditioned to hide his feelings, may approach life logically, and wants to control the relationship. He relegates you to a child-like position and wants to permanently own you. Because you are a vivacious, spontaneous, and arousable mate, he finds you exciting.   Methodically, as he stimulates you during sex, he constantly assesses his masculinity by timing his ejaculation. Each sex act is an arduous task for him that helps him prove his masculinity.





6.   PASSIVE-DEPENDENT MALE WITH AN AGGRESSIVE AND CONTROLLING WIFE.

You may feel inadequate and never initiate sex. A self-reliant woman attracts you, and you hope to incorporate her strengths. She manipulates people to make her feel dominant, and she never cooperates.

 Neither of you can trust each other as equals.   You have two choices: dominate and control, or depend on your spouse and submit. As time goes by, you may fail to get an erection when you are fatigued, drunk, or stressed.  Your wife becomes frustrated, and you then develop secondary impotence as your safety valve.   Unconsciously, you see her as your mother.
 RELATED POST:   APHRODISIACS BEFORE VIAGRA

7.  PARANOID HUSBAND AND DEPRESSED WIFE

Here your husband is concerned about his masculinity. He becomes jealous and suspicious.  He wants to  intimidate, and when his masculinity is questioned, he becomes outraged.

He has a desperate struggle to survive.  If he has a male boss, he finds it emasculating, and he does everything possible to get fired.   Usually he is attracted to a woman who will take the blame and responsibility for all his failures.  She must have low esteem, and like her husband, she rejects her parent (usually her mother).   She is always looking for approval that her mother never gave her.

But he will never give you the recognition you seek and he will persecute you to prove his masculinity. There is repeated fighting and reconciliation. He looks at sex as a struggle and must always be victorious.  A lasting erection proves his masculinity to himself.
 RELATED POST:  To marry or cohabitate

8.  DEPRESSED HUSBAND AND PARANOID WIFE.

The wife’s suspicions and jealousy help in her harassment. She avoids sex as much as possible.  Mothering is to be avoided at all cost.  She identifies with the aggressive mother of her childhood.   Your depression leads to lack of sexual desire and your wife welcomes this. Neither of you even try to correct this situation.
RELATED POST:    To Douche or not to Douche

9.  THE SAINT OR SINNER SYNDROME

Some people have sex only with partners they see as ‘bad and inferior’ to them. The opposite sex is seen as ‘good' and pure and sexless, or seen as ‘bad' and impure sexually, and this is highly desired.  The woman is either motherly or non-sexual, or a prostitute.

 Some men are attracted to women that are promiscuous, immoral and inferior.  Sex is seen as evil and dirty and cannot be performed with someone he sees as good and motherly.   Thus he satisfies his sexual drives with impure and promiscuous women.

As some men are attracted to prostitutes, some women are attracted to bad and dirty males.   Many women are attracted to men they see as bad guys.  To them, sex is bad, dirty, improper, and forbidden.  Yet they find sex is exciting and pleasurable and the unconscious mind chooses sex with bad and forbidden partners.

 After marriage the woman sees her husband as a father figure.  To her, sex is incest. To solve this problem, an attempt is made to make her partner look like a sinner. Dirty and obscene words are used during foreplay and sex.   Seeing her man unshaven, dirty, and sweaty, becomes very arousing.
To meet her sexual needs, she will go to singles bars and become openly sexual and  “on the make” with men. 
RELATED POST:  What is Real Love?

10. IMPACT OF GREAT WEALTH ON SEX.

Having a lot of money, is not as much fun as you may think. The very rich enjoy sex less, and lack a sense of meaning in their sexual lives. Often there is a vacuum in most other activities.
Many rich kids have a terrible feeling of emptiness. Money allowed their parents to be away a great deal.  Maids and boarding school substituted for the consistent absence of their parents.   With constant changes in parenting figures, they become withdrawn, depressed, distrustful, and very bored. 

Once grown, sex, to the rich child, is often used to pursue pleasure and to strike back at the parents, to feel more alive, and to relieve depression.   Young boys grow up with pornographic videos, magazines, always seeking bare breasts, pubic hair, and sexual acts in erotic photographs.  Society’s current acceptance of a casual attitude about sex eliminates inhibitions and they see sexual freedom will make their lives happier.
But greater freedom goes hand in hand with less importance. The very rich have a much more casual, accepting, and less exciting attitude about sex. 

The middle class has a greater capacity to enjoy sex than the very wealthy. They can never be as free and casual about sex as the very rich. Sex is more valued and important and that which has value cannot be given or taken lightly. The constant experiences of the middle class reinforce a sense of heading somewhere and moving in an important direction.

Dating, serious involvement, marriage, and parenthood are still gratifying.  Certainly, sex always plays an extremely important role, but love is inextricably linked with self-esteem and has meaning.  As more people jump from middle to upper class, changes occur in the formation of more casual sex.
 RELATED POSTS:  The Demise of Fatherhood

11.  CHRONIC ILLNESSES CAUSING SEXUAL PROBLEMS

Many chronic illnesses create problems in daily living, and sex is becomes less important than medical treatment and rehabilitation.  

Despite discomfort and pain, people with physical problems still retain their sexual libido. The desire for sex remains strong, even though the person is unable to perform as well because of his illness.

 Illness creates a marked change in your relationship to others. It forces you to change your behavior and adopt new roles. A stroke may limit your mobility and verbal expression.  Cancer can disfigure you and wreck your self-esteem. Severe arthritis may limit your sexual enjoyment.  Having a colostomy may make you concerned about the odor of the ostomy.  Facial disfigurement from cancer surgery may result in a feeling of shame and ugliness.

Even bilateral amputations, allow you to perform sexually, despite severe limitation in mobility. Female cancer surgery can lower your feeling of femininity. You must discuss solutions with your partner as well as your doctor.
 RELATED POST:  Stop Smoking

12.  PAINFUL INTERCOURSE IN THE MALE

Inadequate lubrication is the major cause and results from inadequate foreplay.

Many allergies can also cause inflammation of the penis. These include a) contraceptive creams, foams, and jellies: b) rubber in condoms and diaphragms; c) soaps and detergents; d) douche preparations; e) hygiene sprays and deodorants; f) externally applied lubricants, and g) normal female vaginal secretions.

Painful ejaculation is almost always caused by acute prostate inflammation.  Prostatitis can be bacterial, but also due to prolonged abstinence from sex resulting in congestion from prostatic secretion.   Traumatic injuries to the penis, testes, and vas deferens, as well as herpetic inflammation of the skin of the shaft of the penis, can cause pain with sex in the male. 
RELATED POST:  Good bye Viagra


Visit www.drneedles.com for more information on controversial medical subjects.













As a medical physician for over 51 years, I strive to give you the best medical information on controversial medical subjects, and help your read betwwen the lines. You must come to your own conclusions. I have no ties to any organization, pharmaceutical, or lobby group. As an practicing medical acupuncturist since 1982, I find western medicine and medical acupuncture are very complimentary. This results in astounding healing in pain management, addictions to cigarettes and food, and a host of other maladies. Visit drneedles is blogging" at the end of each blog for a complete alphabetical list of all my blogs Visit http://www.americanacupuncture.com/ for more detailed information on mind, body, and spirit healing.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

THE DEMISE OF FATHERHOOD page2

As a medical physician for over 51 years, I strive to give you the best medical information on controversial medical subjects, and help your read betwwen the lines. You must come to your own conclusions. I have no ties to any organization, pharmaceutical, or lobby group. As an practicing medical acupuncturist since 1982, I find western medicine and medical acupuncture are very complimentary. This results in astounding healing in pain management, addictions to cigarettes and food, and a host of other maladies. Visit drneedles is blogging" at the end of each blog for a complete alphabetical list of all my blogs Visit http://www.americanacupuncture.com/ for more detailed information on mind, body, and spirit healing.


WHERE IS MY FATHER? page 2



Somehow we made 40 years together.  The kids are gone, and I owe it to myself to finally get a life again.  Time to break the knot.  If Al Gore, John Edwards, and Larry King can do it, I sure should be able to.

Now as I am old, riddled with pain, and my new young soul mate has left me.  Hey, I once was a dad.  Its time for me to call my long lost son.  Hope he remembers me, his dad.

COMMENTARY

Having a married husband is the No. 1 anti-poverty weapon in the United States.  Today over 40% of American kids are born to single mothers.

Being a father today is now merely a social convention, providing another life alternative life style, that over half the men chooses not to accept.  

Their mothers raise over half of all kids without a biological father being at home.  The men provide the sperm, but then don’t partner with their women nor live with their kids.

The rights of fathers are now expendable, and women are now more prosperous and our social programs support single mothers.   The system prevented them from establishing a family with the child’s mother.

The media in the past, geared men to select a mate, settle down, earn money, become productive, have kids, and try to survive for their sake.

There are no approved rules, regulations, and guidelines written anywhere.  They constantly change from generation to generation and subculture to subculture. There are very few role models today and most fathers have very few parenting skills, leaving mom in charge.

MEN WANT TO BE FATHERS

 Most young people think about marriage and want to get married.   Men want to change, but have no clue how to do it. Many fathers are chemically dependent, and have come from dysfunctional homes, and never had a father in their homes.  With no role model when growing up, they feel it impossible to fulfill the new role as a father.

Most men want to accept the responsibility of being a father, protector, and teacher to their child.  They give love, but don’t accept the need to change their lifestyles and remain unmarried.  They see their role in a self-serving way and bring gifts, play, and visit with their child and then leave.  The mother is responsible to discipline and regulate the children.

In the fight for the almighty dollar, our economy requires both husband and wife in an intact family to work full time to just keep their heads above water.  We are told what is good for the economy and government must be also good for the families.
 
Teen-age males not think it is OK to have a baby out of wedlock.  They feel they can cohabitate after fathering a baby.  The script that men should get educated married and have kids, in that order is now reversed. 

A father is only as happy as his most unhappy child. The older your child gets, the more he realizes all you’ve done for him and how much you have shaped his life.

If you are a traditional father, I hope you know how much your child means to you for being the special man you are.

Visit www.drneedles.com for more information on controversial medical subjects.  Your comments are always appreciated.







THE DEMISE OF FATHERHOOD






Having a married husband is the No. 1 anti-poverty weapon in the United States.  Today over 40% of American kids are born to single mothers.  




Being a father today is now merely a social convention, providing another life alternative life style, that over half the men choose not to accept.   




WHERE IS MY FATHER?


Have a great Father’s Day Dad, wherever you are.

Now that I am born I don’t see my dad.  I heard his lovely deep voice for the last 9 months as I was growing in mom’s womb, but now it is gone. Other babies in the nursery seem to have their dads.

I don’t have anyone to show me how to throw a ball, ride a bike, swing a bat, or teach me to wrestle. I have no one to play hide and seek or make me just laugh.

Now, in the eight grade, my penis gets hard and I don’t know why.  Mom has no answers.  I know dad would figure it out and tell me.

I like sports because the coaches all look like by dad.  But no one is telling me what I am doing wrong in sports so I can get better in sports.  I hear President Obama’s dad left him, and he turned out ok.  I guess there is hope for me.

In high school now, I feel swarmed with pushy pretty girls who know a lot more than I do.  I am not sure how to handle this. The girls really try to get close to me.  I don’t feel prepared for all this.   I like when the girls bother me,.  I really need someone to love me and tell me how important I am.   I with I could talk to dad about my feelings. Oh dad, where are you?

All the teachers in my high school look and act just like my mom.  They seem to create a lot of stress for me.  Many of my buddies also don’t have dads around.  Smoking and pot seem to make me calmer.

I don’t know how it happened, but my friend is pregnant.  I can’t believe I can be a dad.  Perhaps her mom can get her out of this jamb.   I sure need you now dad.

I got a good job and want to live with my girl friend for a few more years.  She sure is pushy and wants to get married or she might leave me.  Dad left me, and I cant let my soul mate leave me too.  Ok honey; let’s tie the knot.

So we are having a baby.  I think this might screw up our good relationship.  Who need a third party butting in?  Dad, is that why you left?  Who has the guidebook to being a father?

All the pretty women at work are on the make.  They want to offer me good sex, and one night stands.  Variety seems to be the spice of life in this office.  Hope I don’t get caught.  I think  Dad did.





As a medical physician for over 51 years, I strive to give you the best medical information on controversial medical subjects, and help your read betwwen the lines. You must come to your own conclusions. I have no ties to any organization, pharmaceutical, or lobby group. As an practicing medical acupuncturist since 1982, I find western medicine and medical acupuncture are very complimentary. This results in astounding healing in pain management, addictions to cigarettes and food, and a host of other maladies. Visit drneedles is blogging" at the end of each blog for a complete alphabetical list of all my blogs Visit http://www.americanacupuncture.com/ for more detailed information on mind, body, and spirit healing.



Saturday, June 12, 2010

WHY IS YOUR DOCTOR ALWAYS ANGRY



If your doctor is unhappy, your care will be compromised. Your doctor is frustrated and angry with your insurance company and Medicare for setting values on their services to you.  Next time you see your doctor, give him a big hug, and tell him you understand his frustration and anger.  Perhaps, as a solution, he might take an early retirement and get out of the new medical jungle.

WHY IS YOUR DOCTOR ALWAYS ANGRY

If your doctor is unhappy, your care will be compromised. Your doctor is frustrated and angry with your insurance company and Medicare for setting values on their services to you.  Being conscientious, he spent more time with you and solved most of your health problems and avoided costly tests and referrals.

In the past, most doctors loved being a doctor.  Today, your doctor spends more time fighting insurance and government agencies, and less time caring for you their patient.   He is constantly staying late in the office taking care of mindless paperwork only to find your insurance company denies your payment. 
A recent Aetna national survey and another in the Journal Health Affairs 2009, showed over two third of doctors feel the current Obama care environment is detrimental to the care they deliver and see the quality of their care will decline over the next five years.  Eighty percent fell they can’t make clinical decisions based on what is best for you, but must base their treatment on what your payer is willing to pay. They overwhelming found getting reimbursed were getting very complex and burdensome.


Administrative constraints take over 3 weeks of their time and they spend $70,000 in extra staffing per year for all the interactions of the various health plans.

THE INSURANCE JUNGLE

Your doctor tries to avoid new Medicaid and Medicare patients because the government insurance programs have become a tangle of frustrating paperwork.  Even an act as fundamental as writing a proper prescription for you is dictated by the variability in different services and limitations your insurance company places on you.

YOUR DOCTOR’S DILEMA

It is difficult for your doctor to give you the proper care for your particular coverage.   Different drug companies have financial agreement between their plans.  Only certain drugs are on your plan’s formulary of listed covered drugs. 

Instead of spending time coordinating your care he must deal with formularies and obtain prior authorizations for everything he must do.  He must get a prior ok from your health plan for a procedure, test, or referral.  Asking over and over again, he must ask for permission to write out a prescription that he feels you need.  None of these every day services are reimbursed or compensated.

In addition to seeing you (average 18 patients a day), he must answer numerous telephone calls (average 24 per day) from insurance companies, pharmacies, and referral doctors, answer emails (average 17 per day), refill your prescriptions (average 12 a day), review your lab tests results (average 20 per day), review Cat scans, MRI and X-rays (average 11 per day), review reports from other consultants, visiting nurses, physical therapists, and other doctors and hospitals (average 14 per day),
 
MALPRACTICE DILEMA

All good doctors practice defensive medicine today.  Without any change in tort reform in the Obama care reform bill, your doctor does not want to embrace any of the new 32 million additional new patients that will consume a large amount of his precious daily time.

Your doctor sees patients looking for a quick jackpot.  Once in court, he will do anything to never go back again.  He orders hundreds of tests each year to document conditions that don’t exist, because there might be a 1 in 10.000 chance someone will ask.

You enter the hospital with bronchitis, and your doctor will call in an infectious disease doctor to find what antibiotic would be best, a cardiologist to see why your chest hurts when you cough, a CT scan, and even a cardiac catherization. 

Over testing becomes the standard of care.  It is so ingrained that your doctor doesn’t even realize he is doing it.  All equivocal tests lead to more tests. Any insignificant finding requires another study.  They can’t miss anything anymore. No one wants to get sued. 

These extra tests and procedures protect everyone against possible malpractice litigation.  Besides, you the patient demand everything to be checked, and your doctor does not want to be perceived as a low quality doctor.  This defensive medicine is the price we Americans must pay for healthcare.

Your doctor is now on a time clock.  If he works for a hospital, they set the number of patients he must see daily, and the maximum time he can spend with you. 

In California, to reduce unnecessary emergency room visits, the 21 million natives who have HMO plans will be assured their doctor sees them within 10 business days.  If the patient says he has an urgent problem that does not require prior authorization, he must be seen within 48 hours. (Rules to go in effect this January.)

ELECTRONIC HEALTH RECORDS

You now see your doctor using his computer and not looking at you as he logs in and goes through a long series of screens with long lists of options.  If e picks the wrong option, you get the wrong drug or test, and this might spell disaster.

This certainly distracts him and leads to a lower quality of care for you.  Before he enters a medical order, you might want him to check if you have any drug allergies, but it becomes very unwieldy for him to ask every patient these basic questions.
The system is designed for great billing outcomes, not clinical outcomes.

Being frustrated with the new technology, your doctor may just call in his new employee, a newly certified nurse aide, who just finished a crash 3 month program after failing to find another engineering job.  He will work out the bugs and take care of the details of your medical care.  After all, the clock is ticking and your doctor must stay on the hospital schedule, or he may be looking for another job.

Next time you see your doctor, give him a big hug, and tell him you understand his frustration and anger.  Perhaps, as a solution, he might take an early retirement and get out of the new medical jungle.

RELATED POSTS

Visit www.drneedles.com for more discussion of controversial medical issues and the use of complementary medical acupuncture as an adjunct to your western medical treatment.

 As a medical physician for over 52 years, I strive to give you the best medical information on controversial medical subjects, and help your read betwwen the lines. You must come to your own conclusions. I have no ties to any organization, pharmaceutical, or lobby group. As an practicing medical acupuncturist since 1982, I find western medicine and medical acupuncture are very complimentary. This results in astounding healing in pain management, addictions to cigarettes and food, and a host of other maladies. Visit drneedles is blogging" at the end of each blog for a complete alphabetical list of all my blogs Visit http://www.americanacupuncture.com/ for more detailed information on mind, body, and spirit healing,



  

Monday, June 7, 2010

GETTING YOU TO SAY NO TO MEDICAL TREATMENT

Deep down, most of us believe the more medical care we get the better we will be.  We all want the most aggressive treatment possible, and certainly don’t want our medical care restricted or rationed.This resulted in our new Obama health care reform  game plan to change your thinking without fighting you. They now continue to tell you that the new medical reform will give you the best possible medical care no matter what the cost.



GETTING YOU TO SAY NO TO MEDICAL TREATMENT

 Deep down, most of us believe the more medical care we get the better we will be.  We all want the most aggressive treatment possible, and certainly don’t want our medical care restricted or rationed.

 But how can the government get you to say no to medical care. When MRI breast care screening recommendations were restrictive, it created a firestorm.   The health care reformists realized they must change their approach in restricting your health care.

 They now continue to tell you that the new medical reform will give you the best possible medical care no matter what the cost.   They remind you that our current system will continue to give you more care, but you must ask: “Is that care becoming worse or better?”This resulted in our new Obama health care reform  game plan to change your thinking without fighting you.

CHANGING YOUR THINKING

Medicare, hospitals doctors, and the media, are now flooding you more information.   Cost-cutting Medicare servants, to cut down medical costs, are giving you more choices and more control, resulting in more confusion. You are told that the economics of medicine is changing and you will be rewarded you with much better care rather than simply more care.

To change your thinking, you are being programmed to learn more about the “new evidence “that shows what treatments work and what don’t. You are told that all the data in the past is incomplete or unavailable.  They claim that more than half of medical treatments lack clear evidence of effectiveness.   The media bombards you with quotes of recent published articles telling you that prostate cancer, inflammatory diseases, back pain, CT scans and MRIs are not effective.   Twisted statistics show that Cesarean sections have skyrocketed with little benefits to babies and are more burdensome to others.

The next step is to give you available facts about treatments. They will give you information about potential benefits and risks and sway you to choose less invasive care.   Initially you may want aggressive care, and are willing to accept the risks and side effects from the treatment.

 Being told preventing prostate cancer is very marginal, you might decide the risk of incontinence and impotence is not worth it. The new message for men is that if you have prostate cancer, you will never die from it, but you will become impotent and incontinent because of this aggressive treatment.

Today, says the government, everyone gets bypass surgery and stents because it is popular and people believe it will reduce heart attacks.  They will tell you the new evidence strongly shows none of this treatment is necessary, and aspirin and a healthy diet works equally just as well.

You might decide to leave an intensive care unit call it quits, and enter a hospice to end your life.

COMMENTARY

Unnecessary care causes a lot of pain and even death. 15,000 people each year are projected to die eventually from radiation they get from just a single CT scan. But how many of you are successfully treated because of the scan.  We all know that when hospitals and drug makers get a blank check from Medicare the costs skyrocket.   Rationing and denying medical claims will free up resources for other services like education, and reduce the Medicare deficit.
When the tax subsidies for health insurance shrink, we will all realize that medical care is not free.   Doctors, who will deny you expensive medical care, will be labeled preferred doctors and they will be financially rewarded by higher Medicare payments.
 RELATED POSTS

Down the line, you will be denied any medical treatment that gives you modified benefits, but for now just getting you to say no is the best solution for lowering medical costs.  What comes next will be even more painful.

Visit www.drneedles.com for more information on controversial medical subjects. Your comments are always appreciated.


As a medical physician for over 51 years, I strive to give you the best medical information on controversial medical subjects, and help your read betwwen the lines. You must come to your own conclusions. I have no ties to any organization, pharmaceutical, or lobby group. As an practicing medical acupuncturist since 1982, I find western medicine and medical acupuncture are very complimentary. This results in astounding healing in pain management, addictions to cigarettes and food, and a host of other maladies. Visit drneedles is blogging" at the end of each blog for a complete alphabetical list of all my blogs Visit http://www.americanacupuncture.com/ for more detailed information on mind, body, and spirit healing.

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